SAHM

Since I made the decision to quit and be a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) temporarily, I have more free time for my little gal and this really helps to improve our bonding. She can now call me "Ma Ma" and will come look for me to play with her. This may sounds a very simple thing that every child will do with their mother, but for me, it was not. When I was still working, whenever I came home from work, she would look past me blankly and refused to let me hug her. I felt so sad and guilty at the same time that I did not spend time with her and neglected her.

I am also in dilemma making this decision. I have received comments that I should continue to work to earn income to support family. It is all about money in this society now and becomes a norm. We are expected by the society to multitask: care for the family, take care of the kids, and work to earn an income to support the family. However in reality, it is difficult to multitask to do all well. By having both parents working, it means lesser time to look after the kids. The job of looking after the kids becomes other people's business (e.g. caregiver, maid, grandparents, childcare teacher). It is like we give birth to the child but not the one nurturing the child due to the need to work to support the family. But as parents, we are responsible for our child.

Work nowadays is very hectic as well. Work life balance can only happen if the culture of the company truly believe in it and work on it. Sadly, this kinda companies are very limited here. So you need to work long hours at work and when you come home, it's already late night and the child already sleep. The next day morning, you need to wake up and go to work again but the child may still be sleeping or just manage to catch a glimpse of you only. It is sad, very sad. You spent more time with your work then your child.

If we do up some sums, the cost of getting a maid / caregiver could cost a lot too. Furthermore, you are letting someone who you are not familiar with to take care of your child. It will really depends on luck that you find a good maid / caregiver.

For me I do wish to go back to work in the future when she is older and more independent cos we are not really well to do. But for now, I just wish to be there when she is growing up. The joy of seeing her grow everyday is priceless.