I actually started potty trained her when she was 18 months. I thought the earlier I start training, the faster she adapt to it. To prepared her, I borrowed potty story books from the library and read to her every night. Then I even gotten a potty which would play music whenever she pressed the flush button so as to get her interest and stimulate her.
But I was wrong. She was showing so much resistant that she would cry and refused to sit on the potty. It was always a wrestle with her to get her to sit on the potty. I even bought 2 other types of potty as I thought the first potty with music might be distracting for her to use. I even paste her favourite Dora stickers on the potty just to get her interest (but actually it works too).
There was a time I was even doubting myself if I had been a good mother as I couldn't trained her to be potty trained. I looked around the kids around her age were somehow already potty trained. So I got nervous that she might lose out to others in development. But then after some time, I realised that I cannot forced her to use her potty. The more I forced her, the more she showed resistant. So I decided to relax and took things naturally. But I continued my education to read potty story books to her, used incentives like star chart and letting her watched her favourite peppa pig videos to attract her to sit on her potty. So instead of pushing her, I am luring her to use the potty. And suddenly one fine day, she sat on her potty by herself to pee. Then everything falls into place. And tada, she is fully potty trained now, just before her 3rd birthday!
So here's my sharing of her potty trained journey of what really works for those parents who are having headache to train their kids. But my methods may not suits all as every child is unique :)
1) Do not force upon the child
Yes, this is the number one rule. The more you force, the more they will resist. Just relax and takes things easily. If today the child does not want to sit on the potty, it's ok. Try another day when the child is in a better mood.
2) Education
This is something which works. What I did was to borrow some potty story books from the library and read to her every night. The content of the potty story books are about how the children ditched their diaper and used the potty. This is to influence her not to resist using the potty. These were some of the books we read:
I love incentives! In my previous job, one of my project was to devise incentive programs to boost staff performance and the results were amazing! So I know how powerful incentives can be if implemented appropriately. For me I used a star chart as recognition of her good deeds everyday and sitting on the potty is one of the "to do" items. Other "to do" items include sharing, saying please and thank you, feeding herself, keeping away toys and many others which I will take turns to rotate the "to do" list everyday. There will be maximum 5 "to do" items to be fulfilled every day. But sitting on the potty is a permanent "to do" item on the chart.
The rule of the game is she will earn a star whenever she try to sit on a potty irregardless she pee or poo. As long as she is willing to sit on the potty, she will be rewarded with a star that day. If she earn 2-3 stars, she can go playground or cycling or have her favourite cookie or yakult and many others. If she earn all 5 stars for that day, she can watch her favourite peppa pig videos. Now peppa pig videos is biggest incentive for her as she is a die hard fan.
The rewards selected must be something the child likes and can be given or done easily. Start with something which is easy for her to attain first. For instance she will get one of her reward when she earned 2 stars. Getting 2 stars is easy. And if she earn 3 stars on the same day, she get another reward. But the biggest reward was getting all 5 stars within the day. The stars must be given immediately upon she fulfilling the good deed. Rewards must be awarded immediately too once she earned the required stars. This is so that she can see the results quickly and will reinforce her behaviour to do more good deeds.
By getting this head start, she is more willing to sit on the potty. Finally one day, she took initiative to sit on the potty by herself and pee!
4) Wear little underwear/panties
I bought a Charlie Banana training pants for her at a cost of about $15-$20 if not remembered wrongly. But in the end, she doesn't like it as it was quite thick and not easy for her to pull down the pants. So I let her wear those little kids cotton underwear/panties which only cost about $5 for 3 pieces. It is cheap and good! Cotton is good enough as it is soft and cooling. But try to buy 100% cotton. Most importantly, easy for her to pull down. It will be better if can buy the child's favourite characters underwear so he/she can relate to it but that will be more expensive.
And so after I let her wear the cotton underwear, she would pee or poo in her underwear initially as she was not used to it. A lot of clean up was needed but it is ok as it is part and parcel of the process. Gradually, she learned that it was awkward to pee or poo in her underwear and dripped or dropped all over the floor. Then she started to take the initiative to use the potty. It is a natural process.
5) Give lots of praises and encouragement
This is one thing I realised, everyone love praises. I believe everyone regardless of age, will thrive and strive to do good if they are praised appropriately on their good deeds or behaviour. This is especially so for kids. I believe we need to constantly encourage them even though they may not do well the first time. This is so that they are willing to try again. Try not to scold your child or let them feel bad when they spilled their pees or poos on the floor. They are just kids and don't mean to dirty the place. Instead, let them know it is ok for accidents to happen and try again next time.
Give them lots of praises whenever they try to sit on the potty regardless the outcome. Focus on their action or behaviour when praising. For me, I praised my gal whenever she try to sit on the potty, even though she may not pee or poo in it. I would praise her for doing a good job by trying to sit on the potty. I think it works because at least she is more receptive to try sitting on the potty.
6) Don't expect overnight results
It takes time really. Don't expect immediate results that your child will use the potty within 1 day or within a week. Be prepared to take weeks, months or even years! The key is don't get discouraged if your child don't seems to be potty trained as fast as others. Every kid is unique. Just be confident that they will eventually get trained some day as long as you lay the foundation.
For me, I initially thought I could train up my gal within a week, but I was so wrong. In the end, it took me close to 1.5 years. Yes it is very slow as compared to other kids. But well, slowly but surely, she is potty trained now :)
7) Just a simple potty will do the job
It is a waste of money to buy those expensive, fanciful and musical potty in my humble opinion. I tried that, but doesn't work. She ends up playing with the potty more than sitting on it. So I just bought her a simple, down to earth and plain colour potty. It is easy to use, functional and no frills! What I did was to paste one of her favourite characters Dora stickers on her plain colour potty just to personalised it as hers.
8) Peer influence
I think this is a very powerful tool. By exposing the child to their peers who are already potty trained will motivates them to use the potty as they want to follow what their peers are doing. For my gal's case, some of her classmates in her new playgroup were already potty trained. Everyday the teacher will bring those kids who are potty trained to the toilet to pee or poo. So when she saw her friends were potty trained, she wants to follow too. I think this is one of the reasons which influenced her to be more receptive to use potty too.
So for parents who wants to start potty train your child, my advice is to expose your child to other kids who are potty trained at the beginning so they can learn faster. Childcare centres, kindergartens and playgroups are some of the places for the child to get exposure. Having siblings will be the best as I noticed usually kids with siblings learn potty faster.
Hope my above potty training tips can help those parents who are having a heachache to potty train their children. :)
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