I think it is due to the typical "面子" mindset - to have a lavish wedding so that every relatives and friends can be impressed and also lack of financial planning.
For those "to be" married couples, you have a choice. By making the right and rational choice, it can save your marriage from being a debt ridden one from day 1.
It brings back some memory about our actual wedding 9 years ago....
1) Wedding Dinner @ Chinese Restaurant in a hotel
Initially I don't even fancied a wedding dinner. I just wanted a simple ROM, dinner /lunch with close relatives and friends and honeymoon. However, it turned out that wedding was not just the 2 of us but it involved our families too. The "close" relatives list got longer.
Therefore after much discussion, we decided to hold it at a Chinese restaurant which was situated in the RELC hotel close to Orchard Road. The restaurant allowed us to book the whole venue with just minimum 12 tables. It suited our needs as it was also located within a hotel which added to our convenience too. The wedding package was very affordable. We ordered one of the most expensive menu and it costed $500++ per table (That was the rate 9 years ago).
The restaurant also threw in free 1 night hotel stay at the executive room and provided shuttle bus service for the guests too. Most importantly, the food tasted delicious. Our objective was to find a restaurant which provide good food and convenience for our relatives and friends. It might not have the best ambience, but nonetheless, it met our expectations.
We felt that by hosting our wedding dinner at an affordable venue and keeping it small (We had only 12 tables which met the requirement), it helped us saved some money and also saved the burden for our relatives and friends to give "big angbaos" too. We didn't expect the angbao money to cover the cost as we were planning to pay all by our own savings which was within our budget. Therefore even if the angbao can't cover the banquet cost, it didn't matter. We just hoped our relatives and friends enjoyed the food while celebrating the happy occasion with us.
However, it turned out that the angbao we received not only managed to cover our banquet cost, it even had enough to pay for our honeymoon to Maldives too! It was really a great surprise to us as we didn't expected it.
Btw the restaurant we had our wedding dinner was Tang Court Restaurant. It was no longer in business. It is a great pity as it served good food and good service too.
2) Wedding package ~ no additional photos
We signed up our wedding package with Sophia (yes the bridal shop which recently wind up) for $3000 which included ROM & actual day makeup, 30 photos, actual day photography and etc. They also throw in other perks like father's jacket, bridesmaid gown and many others. I felt it was a good deal and we managed to resist the temptation to add on more photos. Each extra photo cost $80. Up till now, I am still very glad that we sticked to what we had and not irrationally paid more for extra photos. Frankly after our wedding, those photo albums had been collecting "dust" in our cupboard.
One of my friend went Malaysia JB to take wedding photos to save money. Turned out she spent S$10k++ on her wedding albums due to extra photos. Therefore my advice to couples is don't spend too much on wedding photos. Just spend the minimum for memory sake but not excessive.
3) HDB flat @ non-matured estate
It is always good to buy your first home as a HDB flat instead of EC or condo. It is more affordable and also as newly wed couple, you need lots of savings for more to come like renovation, children and many more.
We bought our first HDB flat in a non-matured estate. I still remembered "n" years ago, I made the comment that I would "never ever" stayed in a non-matured estate. I was so used to staying at matured estate since young. But well, never say never. Somehow fate wanted me to "eat my words". When the opportunity came, we felt that the flat we buying met our budget and requirements as it is near to LRT station, bus stop and even a shopping mall.
Who would have imagined Ang Mo Kio will become one of the most expensive matured estate 10-20 years ago? The travel distance of only 15-20mins MRT ride to town jack up it's status. However, if you need to take a feeder bus to Ang Mo Kio MRT, it would also take addtional about 5-15mins depending how far you stayed from the town centre. So the total travelling time could take up to 30-35mins.
The non-matured estate which I'm staying now, takes about 20-25mins MRT ride to town. Inclusive of LRT ride to the MRT, it only takes about 30-35mins to reach town which is about the same travelling time when I stayed in Ang Mo Kio! Actually I prefer LRT to bus as the timing is predictable and more regular. It is also not subject to traffic conditions. Therefore, who knows, the non-matured estate today may become one of the most sought after matured estate tomorrow?
Because we bought the flat at an affordable price due to it's non-matured estate status, we managed to pay off the loan within a few years. We have one less burden and can focus on other important issues.
Therefore, my advice is to be open minded about staying in non-matured estate. It is not all bad. Choose a better location property in a non-matured estate is still way cheaper than staying in a matured estate. The cost savings is a big deal!
4) Renovation ~ no loan
We chose a contractor over an interior designer (ID). We designed our own house and hired the contractor to fulfill it for us at a much lower cost than an ID. Our renovation including furniture and electronics total cost about $30k. We didn't take up any loan for this and fully paid by our own savings. All these are within our budget too.
5) No Car
Many couples tend to buy a car after marriage for family planning purpose. However buying a car in S'pore is not cheap. It cost at least 100k for a new car excluding cost of keeping the car (e.g. car loan, petrol, carpark fees, insurance, road tax, repairs & maintenance, ERP and many others). If we calculate the total cost to owning a car in S'pore, we are talking of at least 200k opportunity cost. The money which you could have saved and earned compounded interest over the years. I ever did some calculation that even if we take taxi everyday, it is still cheaper than buying a car.
Yes we didn't have a car and that makes a lot of difference. As we stayed near public transport, travelling is a breeze. At times when we need to travel to "ulu" places, then we will take a taxi. If not most of the time we will be travelling by MRT or bus.
6) No Maid
Many couples hired maid after they have children to cope with the daily house chores and work. There are many families in S'pore relied heavily on maids. Actually I quite pity the maids. They are human beings after all. However sad to say many S'poreans take them for granted. Many times, I witnessed those families who bring maid along didn't even buy the meal for them to eat. The maid will be busy looking after the children and feeding them while the parents can take their time to eat sumptuous meal. The children who have maid also tend to order the maid around. I saw once at a playground that a 6-7 year old girl ordered her maid to pick up a ball for her but the ball was within her reach. So if such a simple task like picking up a ball she also need her maid to do it for her, what can we expect from these children who brought up by maid?
We didn't hired a maid before and also don't intend to hire one. Firstly hire a maid is not cheap. We are talking of at least $700-800 per month inclusive of her monthly salary and meals and other misc. Not to mention of the security deposit of few thousand bucks to pay to the agency. Secondly, we already have limited space in our house. It is difficult to accomodate one more person. Thirdly, due to difference in culture, it may not be easy for the maid to adapt to our environment. We may not be used to having a maid who live with us too. Lastly, I will be worried if the maid is mentally sound or have the personal touch to handle my child too. Which is why to save me the trouble, I prefer to Do-it-Myself rather than rely on a maid who is an outsider after all.
Some house chores need not do everyday as well. For instance washing clothes, sweeping and mopping the floor. For me, I do some simple sweeping daily and run my mint cleaner for a more elaborate cleaning every 2-3 days. Also I ensure my washing machine is full with laundry before running it. Therefore, I just need to wash my laundry about 1-2 times a week. In addition, I simplify my cooking by using electric steamer. I just need to prepare the food and put them all into the steamer to cook. The steamer will automatically turned off once it is cooked or when the water is steam off.
All these tools and process simplification will save some time in doing the mundane house chores. In addition, as your children are growing up, you can also teach them how to do house chores to share the burden too. I felt by nurturing them to do house chores from young, it is better for the child personal development and they can learn to be more independent and responsible too.
In summary, the key to a debt free marriage is to always check how much budget you have and spend within your means. Do lots of research to ensure the things you are buying are affordable without the need to take up loan. Even if you need to take up loan, try to pay off as soon as possible so as not to pay the high interest.
Having debt free means lesser stress!
Because we bought the flat at an affordable price due to it's non-matured estate status, we managed to pay off the loan within a few years. We have one less burden and can focus on other important issues.
Therefore, my advice is to be open minded about staying in non-matured estate. It is not all bad. Choose a better location property in a non-matured estate is still way cheaper than staying in a matured estate. The cost savings is a big deal!
4) Renovation ~ no loan
We chose a contractor over an interior designer (ID). We designed our own house and hired the contractor to fulfill it for us at a much lower cost than an ID. Our renovation including furniture and electronics total cost about $30k. We didn't take up any loan for this and fully paid by our own savings. All these are within our budget too.
5) No Car
Many couples tend to buy a car after marriage for family planning purpose. However buying a car in S'pore is not cheap. It cost at least 100k for a new car excluding cost of keeping the car (e.g. car loan, petrol, carpark fees, insurance, road tax, repairs & maintenance, ERP and many others). If we calculate the total cost to owning a car in S'pore, we are talking of at least 200k opportunity cost. The money which you could have saved and earned compounded interest over the years. I ever did some calculation that even if we take taxi everyday, it is still cheaper than buying a car.
Yes we didn't have a car and that makes a lot of difference. As we stayed near public transport, travelling is a breeze. At times when we need to travel to "ulu" places, then we will take a taxi. If not most of the time we will be travelling by MRT or bus.
6) No Maid
Many couples hired maid after they have children to cope with the daily house chores and work. There are many families in S'pore relied heavily on maids. Actually I quite pity the maids. They are human beings after all. However sad to say many S'poreans take them for granted. Many times, I witnessed those families who bring maid along didn't even buy the meal for them to eat. The maid will be busy looking after the children and feeding them while the parents can take their time to eat sumptuous meal. The children who have maid also tend to order the maid around. I saw once at a playground that a 6-7 year old girl ordered her maid to pick up a ball for her but the ball was within her reach. So if such a simple task like picking up a ball she also need her maid to do it for her, what can we expect from these children who brought up by maid?
We didn't hired a maid before and also don't intend to hire one. Firstly hire a maid is not cheap. We are talking of at least $700-800 per month inclusive of her monthly salary and meals and other misc. Not to mention of the security deposit of few thousand bucks to pay to the agency. Secondly, we already have limited space in our house. It is difficult to accomodate one more person. Thirdly, due to difference in culture, it may not be easy for the maid to adapt to our environment. We may not be used to having a maid who live with us too. Lastly, I will be worried if the maid is mentally sound or have the personal touch to handle my child too. Which is why to save me the trouble, I prefer to Do-it-Myself rather than rely on a maid who is an outsider after all.
However, I did hire a part time maid before to help me do housechores during my maternity confinement period. It was fuss free and easy. She just came for a few hours to do the house chores, after which I would pay her and done deal. Therefore I am open to the idea of part time maid. It's easier and you can hire it on a need basis.
My humble suggestions for a debt free marriage...
Although we are not high income earners (With me currently a SAHM, our household income is even lower as my hubby is now the sole breadwinner) but we are debt free. I think the right thing we did was to spend within our means. The good thing is we are both rational and we plan ahead and budgeted reasonably.
Here's some of the suggestions to have a debt free marriage.
Wedding banquet
~ The best option in my opinion is not to have any wedding banquet. Just invite really close relatives and friends to attend your ROM and after that go for a high tea or lunch/dinner at a hotel or restaurant. If you have more budget, you may want to consider booking a small function room in a hotel or restaurant for 2-3 tables.
~ If you really need a wedding banquet due to family pressure and don't mind a simple, small and humble wedding, try to source for restaurants located within a hotel to have the best of both world for good food and convenience.
~ Try not to have too many tables (e.g. >15 tables) You end up inviting everyone just to fulfil the tables. Of course if you really have that many close relatives and friends who will definitely turn up then it's good for you. But based on past experiences of attending big banquets, filling up the tables is a big headache for couples!
My humble suggestions for a debt free marriage...
Although we are not high income earners (With me currently a SAHM, our household income is even lower as my hubby is now the sole breadwinner) but we are debt free. I think the right thing we did was to spend within our means. The good thing is we are both rational and we plan ahead and budgeted reasonably.
Here's some of the suggestions to have a debt free marriage.
Wedding banquet
~ The best option in my opinion is not to have any wedding banquet. Just invite really close relatives and friends to attend your ROM and after that go for a high tea or lunch/dinner at a hotel or restaurant. If you have more budget, you may want to consider booking a small function room in a hotel or restaurant for 2-3 tables.
~ If you really need a wedding banquet due to family pressure and don't mind a simple, small and humble wedding, try to source for restaurants located within a hotel to have the best of both world for good food and convenience.
~ Try not to have too many tables (e.g. >15 tables) You end up inviting everyone just to fulfil the tables. Of course if you really have that many close relatives and friends who will definitely turn up then it's good for you. But based on past experiences of attending big banquets, filling up the tables is a big headache for couples!
~ Don't harbour the thinking that the angbao collected will be able to cover your banquet cost. Most of the time it can't cover given that nowadays a simple sit down chinese wedding lunch at a 4 star hotel can even cost at least $1200-$1500 per table! It cost even more if you hold it on a weekend. If each of your table is minimally $1500, that means each of your friend or relative must give at least $150 to cover the cost but given the economic situation now, this angbao amount is really hefty and unrealistic! Therefore always ensure the total banquet cost is within your budget and never take a loan just to pay for your wedding banquet. If the angbao can cover the banquet cost then it is a bonus. If it can't cover it is fine too since it is from your own savings and well budgeted for.
Wedding photo package
Try to negotiate for more photos to be included in your package before you sign up and stick to the number. Don't select extra photos. They may all look very nice, but you are not going to see it everyday right?
First Home
It is more affordable to have a HDB flat as your first home. If you want more savings or ability to repay your housing loan faster, choose a non-matured estate HDB flat. Be open to the idea. It is really not so bad.
Renovation
Have your own idea of what you want for your house. Engaged a contractor instead of ID. The savings can make a difference. Don't take up renovation loan. Make sure the renovation cost including furnishing and everything is within your budget.
Transport
Adopt a car-lite (no car) lifestyle. It is really not the end of the world without a car. No doubt having a car is more convenient and you get more privacy, but no point spending your lifelong savings on a liability.
Wedding photo package
Try to negotiate for more photos to be included in your package before you sign up and stick to the number. Don't select extra photos. They may all look very nice, but you are not going to see it everyday right?
First Home
It is more affordable to have a HDB flat as your first home. If you want more savings or ability to repay your housing loan faster, choose a non-matured estate HDB flat. Be open to the idea. It is really not so bad.
Renovation
Have your own idea of what you want for your house. Engaged a contractor instead of ID. The savings can make a difference. Don't take up renovation loan. Make sure the renovation cost including furnishing and everything is within your budget.
Transport
Adopt a car-lite (no car) lifestyle. It is really not the end of the world without a car. No doubt having a car is more convenient and you get more privacy, but no point spending your lifelong savings on a liability.
If sometimes you feel lazy to take public transport, just take a cab. It is still much cheaper than having a car.
A car will only depreciates in value through years, therefore it is not an asset but a liability. A very expensive liability which many people irrationally buy it through their nose even if they can't afford it!
However if you can really afford a car without taking a loan then by all means go for it! It is always a dream to own a car for most S'poreans including me. I think I may only buy a car after I have enough savings set aside for my child's education and my retirement. And that is a long way to go!
Helper
Try to DIY instead of hiring maid. For me, I used electronic robot "Mint Cleaner" as my helper to do the sweeping and mopping at home. We bought 2 sets, each cost about $300++. I think we spent about $800 for the 2 sets but we used it for close to 8 years! So it means we spent about $100 per year on getting help to sweeping and mopping the floor which translated to only $8.30 every month! But of course if you can do it manually, it is even better as you can save more from buying robots.
Try to DIY instead of hiring maid. For me, I used electronic robot "Mint Cleaner" as my helper to do the sweeping and mopping at home. We bought 2 sets, each cost about $300++. I think we spent about $800 for the 2 sets but we used it for close to 8 years! So it means we spent about $100 per year on getting help to sweeping and mopping the floor which translated to only $8.30 every month! But of course if you can do it manually, it is even better as you can save more from buying robots.
Some house chores need not do everyday as well. For instance washing clothes, sweeping and mopping the floor. For me, I do some simple sweeping daily and run my mint cleaner for a more elaborate cleaning every 2-3 days. Also I ensure my washing machine is full with laundry before running it. Therefore, I just need to wash my laundry about 1-2 times a week. In addition, I simplify my cooking by using electric steamer. I just need to prepare the food and put them all into the steamer to cook. The steamer will automatically turned off once it is cooked or when the water is steam off.
All these tools and process simplification will save some time in doing the mundane house chores. In addition, as your children are growing up, you can also teach them how to do house chores to share the burden too. I felt by nurturing them to do house chores from young, it is better for the child personal development and they can learn to be more independent and responsible too.
Therefore having a maid may not necessarily value add to your family life. By not having a maid, you save $600-$800 every month, you save the trouble of managing them, you save the trouble of worrying about them if they ill treat your children, you save your children from becoming over reliant on maid and the possibility of becoming spoilt and many other 'savings'. Life still goes on without a maid!
In summary, the key to a debt free marriage is to always check how much budget you have and spend within your means. Do lots of research to ensure the things you are buying are affordable without the need to take up loan. Even if you need to take up loan, try to pay off as soon as possible so as not to pay the high interest.
Having debt free means lesser stress!
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